Fat Moment 2: Knowing what to say

I have said it before, there is nothing wrong with being on the chunky side.  Most people don’t want a skinny woman or man.  I call it having a chunk of love.  As a big person though, there are certain things you shouldn’t say when you are around a lot of people or ordering food.  One thing is saying I’m really not that hungry but let me get a number 1 super sized with a diet coke, two double cheese burgers and two apple pies.  Ok, first keep it real.  If you are coming into a fast food restaurant about to do damage to some food, do your thing.  But don’t say I’m really not that hungry but order the whole left side of the menu.  That’s not a good look.  Another thing that I have heard is I really need to watch what I eat but they are standing in line at Dairy Queen.  Things like that make you want to say, really you just realized while standing in the line at Dairy Queen that you need to watch what you eat?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a small guy and have had many fat moments.  I’ll let you know I’m about wreck some food and won’t be ashamed to say it.  But you won’t hear me say I need to watch what I eat before or after I just ate a large pizza and drank a two liter of soda.  And finally, when I heard this I wanted to throw a soda on that person for saying this.  The person was eating and said I shouldn’t eat one more bite because I don’t want to get any bigger.  YOU NEED YOUR ASS BEAT!!!!  I don’t care if it’s a joke or you are trying to be funny but if you are sitting at a table with your gut hanging out, you really shouldn’t say something like that.

Whether you are big or small, you should know what to say and not to say in public.  What makes it funny sometimes is that they realized what they have said but it’s too late.  To most, it doesn’t bother them and they keep it moving.  To others, they will have that look as to say I can’t believe I just said that.  Follow me on Twitter @wlhoward_psa.  Until the next time, stay cool.

MN State Fair

The MN State Fair aka The Great Minnesota Get Together and after what I saw this year and it previous years it should be called The Great Minnesota Get  Together of Uncoordinated Misfits, they need to have not only rules and regulations for the fair but maybe a dress code for the fair like the nightclubs.  Before I get into the severe dress code violation, I want to talk about other things I saw like kids on leashes.  Everybody has seen this before at the mall or a park or anywhere.  I would never in a million year put a leash on my kids or anyone for that even if that was your freaky thing.  Some of these parents crack me up.  You mean to tell me you have no control over a 3 year old kid that you need to put a leash on?  YOU NEED YOUR ASS BEAT!!!!  What ever happen to the speech that kids used to get before even getting out of the car?  I’m not the only one that got that speech.  If you can’t keep an eye on your kids at a fair, you don’t need to be there or bring them.  And how would you like having a leash on as a parent?  Wait, the way some people are these days, they might like it with their freaky butts.  Moving on, back to the dress code violations at the fair.  I’m saying this as a man that has seen enough in only one day, FANNY PACKS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!!!!  If you are not in the medical field or a lifeguard at a swimming pool, you should not be allowed to wear those. I’m not saying that whoever invented fanny packs was wrong but there are too many types of bags, purses or backpacks in this day and age to put a fanny pack to rest.  There should be a rule that if you see anyone with a fanny pack on, you should have the right to karate chop that person in the throat and beat them with their own fanny pack.  It is 2011 not 1981.  Another thing that I saw was women in boots at the fair.  It is the state fair not the nightclub.  When you think of a fair, you think of a lot of walking and being hot depending on the weather.  Who are you trying to impress at a state fair?  They don’t give out awards for walking the longest distance with boots on in 90 degree weather.  And last, if you know that you are going to the fair, wouldn’t you think you would put a little more thought into what you are going to wear.  I mean if it is going to be hot, you wouldn’t wear a long sleeve shirt or if you knew it would be a little chilly, you would bring a light weight coat or sweat shirt.  But don’t come to the fair looking like you just rolled out of bed, headed to a nightclub or your color coordination is way off.  Why do people think pajama pants are fashionable in public?  What makes it sad, it is grown adults that are doing it.  They need to be dropped kicked back to sleep for that.  There’s no need to dress to impress at the fair.  It is 90 degrees outside and you want to come to the fair in a long sleeve button up and leather pants.  You deserve to pass out from heat exhaustion wearing that to the fair.  A word of advice, a tie dye shirt, plaid shorts and tan socks with black shoes does not go together.  Take your butt back home and put on some solid colors.  And make sure everything fits from the shirt down to your shoes or sandals.  I don’t think I need to repeat myself, all I’m going to say is to read some of my other blogs like BIG PEOPLE/little clothes and Big feet/little sandals or flip flops.  But I did see something new.  If your foot is oozing off the side of your sandals or flip flops like cooking dough oozing off of a table, YOU NEED YOUR ASS BEAT!!!!

There are people that dress to stand out at the fair and make a statement.  Then there are people that don’t want to make a statement but do for all the wrong reasons.  Follow me on Twtter @wlhoward_psa.  Until the next time, stay cool.

End of Summer Review 2011

It is coming down to the last few days of summer.  Kids will be going back to school and parents will be very happy their kids are going back to school because the kids were getting on their last good nerve.  A lot of kids and some adults will be starting or going back to college.  Now it’s time to put away some of the dress code violations that almost took over the summer.  Just to name a few like the too short shorts for women.  If you have to keep pulling on your shorts every time you get up from sitting down or move, you shouldn’t be wearing them.  As a matter of fact, you knew you shouldn’t have put them on before you left the house but now it’s too late to change, YOU NEED YOUR ASS BEAT!!!!  Another thing that bothered me with some of these clothes women were wearing was short or too short shirt but they have their arms around their stomach like they were hugging themselves.  Why wear a shirt if you are not comfortable in it?  You need your ass beat for buying that shirt.  Men, it’s time put away the skinny jean short and thong flip flops you bought at the dollar store.  I have a feeling that the skinny jean fad will fizzle out one day and men will finally come to their senses.  And when did cut off jean short come back in style?  As far as the flip flops, YOU NEED YOUR ASS BEAT!!!  You’re a grown man wearing sky blue thong flip flops that you bought at the dollar store but try to say you bought them somewhere else.  I want to step on your ashy feet for that.  Also men, quit wearing too little baseball caps.  You look like you stole that hat from your little brother and makes your head look big as hell.  How do you go from wearing your hat too big to wear them too small?  Another thing that bothered me about some men was the very loud colors they were wearing.  If it was just the shirt, that’s cool.  If it was just the shorts, that’s cool.  But wearing both shirt and shorts, YOU NEED YOUR ASS BEAT!!!!  Coming out of the house looking like a bright neon color fluorescent light bulb.  And finally, I don’t mind seeing men or women wearing sandals with socks.  Key word is sandals not flip flops. There is a difference.  But don’t wear long socks with sandals or sleepy socks with sandals.  Sleepy socks are socks that don’t stay up because the elastic is stretched out.  And men, same rules apply to you as to women about wearing the right size sandals.

Fall is rapidly approaching and next thing you know it, the snow will be falling.  There will be some bad cross over season’s dress code violations like winter coats and sandals, boots and shorts.  Look out for those blogs as well as others.  Follow me on Twitter @wlhoward_psa. Until the next time, stay cool